


I Still Love Him

by Bec199



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Cheating Fic, M/M, Songfic, akaashi is heartbroken, my friends call me sadistic this is why
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 09:14:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14589786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bec199/pseuds/Bec199
Summary: “Keiji, you NEED to stop reading that. It will just hurt you more.” Kenma said walking into the room and seeing the black haired boy moping over the folded bundle of paper. “Why do you keep torturing yourself over this?”





	I Still Love Him

**Author's Note:**

> This was based off of Lana Del Ray’s monologue I Still Love Him! It really hits you in the heart so I suggest listening to it!! I also posted this to my tumblr issemats-sun, so if you see that, don't worry it's me!

_**“FAMOUS JAPANESE VOLLEYBALL PLAYER BOKUTO KOUTAROU ANNOUNCES SECRET RELATIONSHIP WITH TEAMMATE!”** _

Akaashi read over the newspaper for the 10th time since he sat down. No matter how much it hurt reading about his now ex-boyfriend being in a relationship with someone else behind his back, Akaashi couldn’t stop. Since the article came a week ago, Bokuto had left him for the person he was cheating with, and Keiji has been staying at Kenma and Kuroo’s shared house until he was able to gather his things.

“Keiji, you NEED to stop reading that. It will just hurt you more.” Kenma said walking into the room and seeing the black haired boy moping over the folded bundle of paper. “Why do you keep torturing yourself over this?”

Kenma’s question hung in the air and thick tension flooded the room. “Ever since I met you, you have never let something hurt you as much asi this. Not even your grandma’s funeral.”

Akaashi peered over at Kenma as he sat across from him. The dual hair colored boy finally notices the deep dark circles under the former’s eyes. It was obvious he hadn’t been sleeping lately. Kenma also didn’t miss the agony hiding deep behind his irises.

“You’ve always been so strong Keiji, I don’t understand why you’re letting him still hurt you. Koutarou, he destroyed your trust and your relationship. Why?”

“Kou was everything I ever dreamed of and way more than I could ever need. I was so convinced that he was my soulmate, my other half. I grew so attached to him, more than anyone else in my entire life. I thought we would never be apart.” Akaashi’s voice became more and more broken as he spoke.

Kenma silently looked at him in response.

“You loved him so much, didn’t you?” That single question was the thing that made the curly haired boy’s dam finally break.

“Where do I even begin with that? Koutarou is so vibrant and full of life, even during his emo mode he never failed to make me smile.” Akaashi laughed bitterly through sobs. “And I remember when I met him...It was so clear that he was the only one for me. We both knew it right away.”

**“Hey hey hey! Konoha the new first year is here!”**

**Akaashi jumped in his spot peeking into the gym. He timidly glanced around for the person who saw him only to land on a person with a very questionable hair style. The second thing Akaashi noticed about the spiked hair boy was how pretty his eyes were. They were the same color as his mom’s gold wedding ring.**

**Akaashi felt blood rushing to his face and began panicking. Mustering his remaining dignity, he walked in, and in the back of his mind he was hoping to come closer to this loud and beautiful boy in front of him. Little did he know that the latter felt the same way.**

**Neither of them knew that this mere moment was the start of something grand. A new future was in store for them both. A future filled with happiness, sweet kisses, and domesticity. But, it was only a matter of time before it began to dim.**

“And as years went on, things got more difficult. We were faced with more challenges.”

**“Koutarou, please calm down this is something we _need_ to talk about!” Akaashi pleaded to his very upset boyfriend, lightly laying a hand on his buff shoulder.**

**“Don’t touch me!” Bokuto said muttered, pushing Akaashi’s hand off. “Why won’t you try out for the national team!? You know I need you beside me!”**

**“Kou, I’ve already told you why multiple times. This job is a good idea! What would happen if you got injured and couldn’t play anymore? You know _damn well_ I would quit the team. After that we would run out of money eventually. It’s good to have a backup plan for when things go wrong!” Akaashi explained yet again to Bokuto.**

**“But Keiji, I NEED you beside me! I’m only as good as I am because of you. God forbid I end up with Oikawa or Shrimpy’s setter!” Bokuto moaned in exasperation.**

**“Oikawa-san is an amazing setter and you know that. Kageyama-san may be intimidating to you, but Hinata-san assured me that he isn’t as mean as he seems.” Akaashi said rubbing Bokuto back comfortingly. “You can do this without me Kou, I know you can.”**

“I begged him to stay, try to remember what we had in the beginning.”

**“Koutarou, are you absolutely sure you want to do this?” Akaashi asked, after hearing Bokuto’s plan of being apart for a few months to train for the Olympics.**

**“Absolutely Keiji! This is such a big thing for me and I want to go through with it to make you proud of me!” Bokuto said excitedly. “I promise I will call you every single day and FaceTime every week!”**

**“Okay Kou. I’m just worried about you. Something could happen and it could take me hours to get to where you are. It’s probably just anxiety, but my gut is telling me something bad will happen.”**

**“Don’t worry Keiji! I will be perfectly fine, I promise!”**

“He was charismatic, magnetic, electric, and everybody knew it.”

**“Bokuto Koutarou! What do you think of these rumors about you cheating on your husband with Oikawa Tooru??” That was one of the many shouts surrounding the spiky haired man.**

**“It’s ridiculous! Oikawa is just a friend. I’d never cheat on my husband, Keiji is the most important person in my life and I couldn’t imagine a day without him by my side.”**

“He was like this hybrid, this mix of a man who couldn’t contain himself.”

**“Keiji! You’ll never believe what happened today! Me and Oikawa were surrounded by fans and he slipped on some ice and fell on his ass! I helped him up and everyone started screaming about how cute we are together, that’s weird isn’t it? Don’t they know I’m married to you?”**

**Akaashi got a bad feeling in his gut after hearing this but he just simply smiled, not wanting to ruin his husband's friendship.**

“I always got the sense that he was torn between being a good person and missing out on all the opportunities life could offer a man as magnificent as him.” Akaashi choked as the words came out of his throat. He was surprised his voice hadn’t cracked yet, although he was glad that Kenma didn’t pay no mind to the tears pouring down his face.

“..And in that way I, understood him. And I loved him.” Akaashi choked out and bitterly laughed. “I loved him, I loved him, I loved him.”

Kenma moved around the table and pulled Akaashi into a tight hug and rubbed his back soothingly while he sobbed.

“And I still love him.”


End file.
